RainY FriDay
Friday, May 6th, 2005hmm….4.41pm, a day like 6 May 2005, How should i be feeling? REcenTly, My Best Buddy & i have beeN so into the LovE issUe ya, i suppoSed shE knoWS what am i saying?
I have always BeeN wonDEring whaT should MAde up A 100% Woman’s Heart? Issit love, self-ConfIdencE, beIng the PerSOn shE wanT to realLy be or what? i don’t really know and i guEss i will Never geT to knOw!
FOr me, i have beeN tryInG reaL haRd to learN to lovE & to loVe the persOn i reaLly yearn to loved..to Me that’s somethiNg so wonDerful. iN life, how manY chanCEs do we Get to Fall inTo a committed relatIonShip? Not Many i guEss. Till noW i still fEEL so. i Still REmember Telling my besT frienD someThing i neveR will Be AblE to havE the CourAge to say it OuT i.e the BiggESt MistAKe in My LiFE that i hAve made & how MucH i haTE myseLf for maKinG that mistakE & i will nEver be AblE to forGive mySElf till NoW. REaLly!
Don’T ask Me why becauSe i doubT i caN really tell You the Answer truthfullY i guess! YeS it’s true….humAns do makE misTAke & we LearN froM mistaKes, HoweVer neVer did WE realise A miStake we maDE can caused uS to reprimand ourselvEs for The stepS we Made….i Am juSt an ordinaRY woman learNing from Each and EVerY singLe day of My liFe…evERy StEP i TAke i paused FOr a WhilE…aFRAid To waLk FurTher thinKing That i CAn neVEr affoRd to Fall aGain…never aGain!
Till Now i Am still TRyiNg haRd to OvercoMe what i should oVErcoME…no MattEr hOw hard it is i am sTIll tryinG my besT…tIMe is what i Need but i don’t eVen know How lonG i need? maybe 6mthS, a year or eveN lonGer.
ThE REaL me is SomeOne who is so vulnERable in eveRy aspecTs of My life. i Am JusT someonE who lacks so so so mucH of self-conFIdence and self EstEem. SAdly, noone knoWs becaUse i can hiDe my FEelingS so well. FRienDs ard me see me As someOne who is jusT so cheerFul and HAppy but i am NOt.
SinCE thaT miSTAke i made…thE hatred i HAve towarDs myseLf…till noW i caN only reminD myself to takE every SIngLE step seriousLy & to bE responsibLE for whatevEr decisionS i havE chosen.
ALl of A Sudden…..memoRies camE runninG to ME………..!
